Red monkey butt

Hi! I haven’t posted in over a month. I told myself that I was giving myself time to grieve but more than that, I think I’ve been noticing and trying to acclimate to the ever-changing rhythm of my life now that I have the time and space to examine what’s going on.

Maybe this is it—hearing about war and shootings closer and closer to home—processing sudden death and the gift of life slouched on the heat mat over my mattress, finding calm in Glenn Gould’s perfectly flawed piano with half a 모 of handmade tofu from the 시장 sitting in my stomach.

I seem to have accepted it as the new norm because my mind and my heart now are back to wandering, to wondering about us, about you, about me—dots in the big picture.

Dippin’ Dots is available in a number of stores here, not exclusive to stadiums and event arenas. Sweets are not sweet at all compared to the States but savory food is often too sweet in Seoul. At my grandma’s place, most dishes are made too salty but I can count on the little anchovies to get me through a bowl of rice. They are like friends but not so because they’re food and you know what the vegans say—friends are not food.

I don’t consider pigs my friends but I will not be eating them, save for bacon crumbs should they appear in a dish. I tried a piece of 보쌈 to go with the newly made kimchi from my uncle’s farm and we suspect that is what caused the food poisoning I suffered for a couple days. I don’t even like pork but ate it for old times’ sake.

Just goes to show you what danger lurks in doing something for old times’ sake. I wonder if one day we’ll meet for old times’ sake and discover that what was is still there but not without the baggage.

I am debating whether I should purchase a big puffy coat or make it through the early winter with the one wool coat I brought over. I won’t have room to take two coats back in my baggage when I fly back home.

Korea feels much more foreign for home than I could have expected. I heard the worst jazz playing in public—it didn’t fall apart but clumsily hung together, each instrument sounding off like food on the verge of spoiling.

I’ve been making music at home, practicing gayageum, and I have been singing this song to myself lately. I learned this song growing up here as all Korean children do but it’s been a while so I couldn’t remember the words to the end. Having looked it up online, it seems like the lyrics are flexible after banana or so and you can create your own word associations.

원숭이 엉덩이는 빨개
빨가면 사과
사과는 맛있어
맛있으면 바나나
바나나는 길어
길면 기차
기차는 빨라
빠르면 비행기
비행기는 높아
높으면 백두산

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